it's happening again.
i knew i shouldn't have done anything
he's already pushing up his glasses & looking
    down when he sees me in the halls now.
i feel like i already blew it.
i hate myself for it.
i hate that i'm not doing more.
i hate that he's sad.
i hate how my parents and friends are
    treating me.
i hate that i don't exist until
    there's no one else around.
i hate that i'm so afraid of
    everything exciting life has
    to offer.
i love good people, but they're so
    hard to find.
i love a good love story, but i'm
    too terrified to put in the effort
    in fear that it won't go well.
i'm sick of people leaving me and
    giving me a reason to write at
    2am.
i hate being sad and having sore eyes.

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