odd numbers between 7 & 17
i love you, you love them, they probably love someone else
nowhere left to go
how do i get over someone like you?
your eyes are bright
do i love you enough to let you go?
you deserve every tear that fell for you
you deserve the world my dude
i just wanna be happy but not as much as i want you to be happy
i want you to love me, but not as much as i want you to feel loved.
i feel the ability to feel leaving my body as i become okay with the fact that you’ll never love me
wish you were gay
my sofies are the only ones w eyes bright enough to who can see what i see. only we can see both the love that radiates off of you when you’re around me and the way you shrug me off sometimes. only my head goes crazy and only i break down trying to process these mixed signals.
my lill holds me as i cry after you telling me you don’t think he’ll ever like you like that and if he did, his parents blah blah blah you don’t love me now and never will. i’m unbelievably selfish, but don’t feel well enough to feel bad for it.
it’d getting late on a sunday, but i’m writing for you to moonlight
songs sung by people who have the type of love i’m so desperately in need of are not helping
i have no idea how i’m still here after enduring this much.
i wish i could make you understand how much damage you’ve done and how much progress you’ve erased, but what would that do? that still wouldn’t change the fact that you’ll never love me. nothing can.
i have to decide if i want to play your games or live my own life
writing by warm light while listening to sad songs and letting the tears come and go as they please really helps. it lets me forget about how shitty of a cousin i am and how i don’t feel comfortable existing anywhere or how i hate the person i am; how i wish i could go back to three years ago when i could name every feeling in my heart and let Alessia Cara perfectly describe my feelings, when i wanted to live and when Blurryface and a brown-eyed, curly haired kid were the only things i needed to get out of bed and be happy.