something about him

he's gone
just like the one before him was
the person i knew him as is dead
and a new version of him lives
that's what i like to think
because it's easier that way
than to know that the boy i loved is still out there
waiting
or not waiting
but just existing
it resurrects every regret i ever had about him
and i can't handle that right now
something about him will never allow me to rest easy
remembering all that i missed out on for such dumb reasons will haunt me forever,
make me cry whenever i listen to a brockhampton song,
hear his name,
and see his face.
nothing about him will ever leave me. nothing.